I Need You, Friend

I never truly understood the need for a “mom bestie” until I had children. I’ve always been friendly with others and have had many friends over the years. But, once I reached child-rearing years, the need for a best friend became almost imperative. I know not everyone is this way, but it became a need for me. A need I didn’t realize until I found mine.

Why do I need a “mommy bestie?” Well, she knows. She understands EXACTLY what you are going through. She truly knows how it feels to be on your third night of nearly no sleep and to be completely exhausted, but still have to pick yourself up and care for your older children the next morning. She knows how it feels to be mentally tapped out at the end of an emotionally trying day with the children. She understands that when you go radio silent for a week, it isn’t because she is mad at you; it is because life is crazy and family comes first. She knows the struggle to raise good, well mannered kids while trying not to lose your sanity or yourself in the process.

The relationship between my best friend is one completely different from that with my husband. My husband is so awesome and supportive and helps out a TON with the kids. But, he doesn’t really know what it is like to be a stay at home mom. He has never really experienced the witching hour- you know the one- where the newborn is crying to be fed, the older kids are fighting, and you are trying your best to get a healthy and wholesome dinner on the table, all while trying to clean up the mess you’ve all made in the house before he gets home. She knows what it is like to plan play dates and organize fun activities for your kids, only to have them misbehave and spend the entire time correcting them. She knows what it is like to have an entire day planned, only to have a kid wake up with a cold and have to cancel everything. She has been there for you when your husband is traveling again and you are running on steam. She can remember the feeling to be a stranger in your own body after sharing it with babies so many times.

So this is my thank you. Thank you to my friends these past almost four years of motherhood. That phrase “it takes a village?” Yeah, it is completely true. So thank you, mama, for being by my side. For sticking by me even on those days where I am cranky or checked out on our play date. Thank you for loving me even when I am not lovable. Thank you for your advice when I need it, and the silence when I just need someone to talk to. Thank you for supporting me and encouraging me. Thank you for pointing me to God for strength, because we all know we can’t do this job in our own strength. Thank you for the extra help when I needed someone to watch the kids, even when you had small kids of your own. Thank you for helping me through this crazy, awesome, phase of life!

If you don’t have one, be one and you will find one. If you already have one, give her another hug. They are so important in life, but even more so in this phase.