I was joking around with my best friend’s husband a bit ago about how blessed I am to be able to stay at home with my kids. I don’t get that Sunday night pit-in-my-stomach thinking about going into “work” the next morning. I am so thankful for the freedom and ability to create my own days and spend all my time with my children. But there are moments, days, or even weeks that I struggle. And right now, I feel like life is a battle. Meals are a battle. Naptime is a battle. Getting buckled into the car is a battle. Fun activities are even a battle. I find myself just wishing for naptime and just plain worn out by the end of the day.
It is hard to keep my focus as a mom when the kids have been screaming all day long and I am just tapped out. But when I sit back and think about it, they are just kids with a sin nature (like me!), and it is my job to teach and to train them how to become responsible adults. What an overwhelming thought! When I get into a funk when I feel like I just can’t win, it is hard to get over it. What I have come to realize is that it is just as simple as my perspective.
Knowing myself, my first response to a tough situation would be to get mad, overwhelmed, frustrated, or anxious. I get down on myself because I need to be doing a better job. Instead of thinking those negative thoughts, I need to be proactive with the kids and find a way to counteract the whininess or attitudes. Instead of feeling defeated, I need to focus on the blessing it is to have these wonderful and unique children in my life. I need to reflect on the fact that I am so blessed to be able to stay home and spend my days with them. In those moments when I am wishing I had a job outside the home, I need to take a step back and thank God that I have the opportunity, no- privilege, to stay at home with my kids. (Not that there is anything wrong with working outside the home, I just know that right now I am called to be at home with my kids.)
I hope you know that you are not alone. You are not the only one that struggles or has bad days. Staying at home can feel isolating at times, even if we have a community built up around us for support. This phase of life is exhausting, overwhelming, and oftentimes thankless. Even if you work outside the home, it can be just as tiring. Do the best that you can; you are probably doing a better job than you think. You are fighting the good fight and it will be worth it. You are doing a great thing. God created you to be your children’s mother, not someone else. Keep at it. Keep fighting. We are all in this together.